I'm Wearing: Orange shirt-thrifted, Brown skirt-thrifted, Shoes-Payless
I've been reading a few books lately that have got me thinking about guys. No, not like that kind of thinking about guys. It's got me thinking about how we think about guys. I just finished "It's Not That Complicated" and I'm currently reading "Joyfully At Home"-two books I highly recommend by the way! But back to what I was saying! In both books they discuss treating men (specifically single men) as brothers. This idea is from the Bible:
"Do not rebuke an older man harshly, but exhort him as if he were your father. Treat younger men as brothers, older women as mothers, and younger women as sisters, with absolute purity." Timothy 5:1-2
I took the liberty of highlighting the part about young men in red. While these verses in Timothy have a lot to say in so few words, I want to focus on the part in red. So often we women tend to treat men as a product. We get on guys all the time for treating us in this manner, yet we treat them the same way! We don't want guys to like us for our looks, but our hearts. Yet the top of many girls criteria for a guy, is good looks! We want Mr. Tall/dark/handsome, yet we want the guys to choose Miss Beautiful heart/kind/gentle. Is this fair? I don't think so. We should judge guys the same way we want to be judged. This is hard, (man looks at the outside, but the Lord looks at the heart). If we treat the men in our lives as brothers, it makes it all the easier for them to treat us as sisters. But if the instant we meet them, we're planning out the wedding colors and dress style, it sets an entirely wrong tone. So, am I giving you permission to hug guys, because that's how you treat your brother? Yes and no. It depends on your motive. Some people don't have a problem with hugging. Some do. It should be up to God, your parents and you. So the next time you meet a young man who's "eligible", first check yourself:
1. Would God be pleased with my actions toward this man?
2. Am I treating him like a brother in Christ?
3. Would my parents be okay with how I'm treating this young man?
By judging men on their actions, we're creating a healthy environment. Judge them on their looks, and you'll most likely be treated the same. Will men completely stop judging you on looks? Probably not. But guys are smart, they can tell if you're truly treating them as brothers, or something more. So the basic message of this post? Treat the guys how you want to be treated, commit your thoughts and feelings to God.